


Foot Steps and Rifts

by AgeOfAlejandro



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Gen, Unrequited Love, snape's shitty childhood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-29
Updated: 2012-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-30 06:56:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgeOfAlejandro/pseuds/AgeOfAlejandro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short character study of Severus Snape, depicting a view of what made him who he was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foot Steps and Rifts

There's something ironic about the way Severus had followed his father's foot steps. Merlin knew his father had prepared him for it, though the old man had had no idea where he would follow them. As a small child—before his father had 'discovered his mother's deception'—he had allowed Severus to watch him in his lab. He had gruffly explained to the small black-haired boy why elements react to each other and how. He had even set up a few harmless but interesting experiments to keep Severus out of the way.

It wasn't a loving relationship—Tobias Snape had been forced to watch over the child because his job as a chemist in a textile factory was quieter and allowed him to divide his attention; Eileen's job as a waitress didn't. He had explained things to make the boy go away. Everything he had done had been about keeping Severus quiet and out of the way.

And then he had gotten his Hogwarts letter and his father discovered the deception. Tobias had been pulled of his vague, disinterested world and into one filled with a force he couldn't even explain. The night the letter was delivered was a terrifying night in Severus' young life. His vague, scholarly father had become a monster, beating his mother mercilessly. Severus had been left to crouch in the shadows and hope his father didn't notice him.

After the night, Eileen attacked Tobias with a vengeance, using curses on him when he threatened her. Severus filed away each spell in his memory, should his father ever turn his fists on him.

Later in life, usually while a bit drunk, Severus would wonder how much Tobias had known, or should have known, about his wife and son. Perhaps he had been told, but refused to believe anything that fit outside his world-view. Even at a young age, Severus had known about magic. It had been a very simple thing for a smart five year-old to suspect when he could make the cracked plastic toys in his bedroom _fly_ , and after finding his mother's wand he had _known_. But then, Severus would smugly smirk, he had always been intelligent.

Eileen needed Tobias job to make ends meet and for Tobias, the shame of a divorce was greater then the indignity of having a witch and a wizard in his home. At least he could hide them.

* * *

Where Eileen got the money to pay for Hogwarts, he never knew. Severus expected that Eileen's parents had left her some money, which she had carefully saved to pay for his schooling. Possibly the only kind thing she had ever done for him.

Possibly the best thing about school was Lily. She was his best friend and he loved spending time with her. They rode the train together the entire way to Hogsmead and chattered about what house they hoped to be in and what they expected to learn. And to his great consternation, Lily had been sorted into Griffindor, while he had ended up in Slytherin.

It was the beginning of a rift; one that would lead to his permanent loss of Lily Evans.

He found potions ridiculously easy—chemistry with a different set of chemicals, was all. More beautiful, he decided, then his father's brimming and bubbling concoctions. _His_ did more interesting things then become synthetic cloth, and they sparkled and shimmered and danced in their phials.

Why he had hoped that Hogwarts would be different, he never knew. People were people everywhere, and the same was true at Hogwarts. The Marauders set about making his life miserable, and hell if they didn't succeed.

 _They_ were the cause of Lily's abandonment. Sever had said the word, but apologized repeatedly, begging for her forgiveness for using the M-word. She had silently, stoically refused him. There was nothing he could do to make it up to her and she left their friendship, leaving Severus with a ghost, a shell of what he had had. He was hopelessly, completely in love with her and Lily wouldn't even make eye contact with him.

And then of course, Severus had been the one to hand over the prophecy to the Dark Lord, leading to the destruction of the woman he loved. He had triggered the events that lead to her death, and he would never forgive himself for that. And _Potter._ Potter was bitter reminder of what was and what could have been. Emerald eyes peered at the world behind _James'_ glasses, under _James'_ hair, from _James'_ face. That child could have been his, had he not royally fucked up his relationship with Lily. Fate could have lead her to be his wife, but it would never tell him. He would be left to wonder and wish for the remaining years of his life.


End file.
